ally's space

Ok still doing a happy dance today! although i do have a sore head from celebrating far too much yesterday!!! I just want to say a huge thanks to everyone for all your messages and support, {{{hugs}}} to you all xxx

I am sitting here ready for work, the kids are at their dads today, and i am so scared! scared of what today will bring! I have to go to work until 1pm and pretend that i am ok (no one knows at work what is going on!) Then come home and phone for my results, this will then define my life! i hope to update later, fingers and toes crossed xxx Ok update!!!! Good news! all gone whoo hoo! off to pub now!!!!!

ok i have been tagged by Ann , thanks hun! i will have a think about it and blog the answers later.... Here are the rules: 1. Link to your tagger and post these rules. 2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird. 3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them). 4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs Ok this is hard, as i am not weird! anyone care to help me out???? 1. i have size 9 feet in girls shoes but an 8 in mens!!!! 2. i have three tattoos and one piercing (they all represent a stage in my life!) 3. My fave food is pizza 4. I love travelling :) 5. I have a very mad sense of humour (some might say sick!) 6. ???? 7. ???? I will tag Jane (emnol) i think everyone else has been done! Tomorrow is R Day! Not sure how i feel, relief, frightened, nervous, lots really but at least the wait is over at 2pm tomorrow!!!

only 4 days to go until i get my results. Good or bad i am now in a place to deal with it (i think!)

Ok so Monday got a whole lot worse than it started... by lunchtime i was admitted to the local hospital after collapsing at work. Much to my shame i got taken there in a police car :) But after a minor op and a day laying around bored out of my mind in hospital i begged to be let home amd they agreed. So i got home last Tuesday night and have spent the last two days doing absolutely nothing at home and i am so BORED!!!! and skint! the internet has a lot to answer for, i know have a new phone (opps!) new clothes (opps, opps!), new boots (big opps!) the kids all have new wellies for winter (they did need them!) and a new CD. i Think thats all i have managed lol i turned the PC off last night as i feared that the spending spree could have got much worse lol and to shock me the most my ex has had the kids since monday and is not returning them until sunday afternoon - huge shock but i think he realised that i am not messing and that i need rest and not to be rushing around. Something h...

I feel so tired today, i just want to curl up in bed and go back to sleep and hide from the world. The weekend has just gone so fast again. Good news though England rugby team played a superb game against France and are through to the Rugby World cup Final, Come on Lads!!!! Roll on next Saturday :) I also have a start date for the new job, my first day is 5th Nov, i am excited and terrified all in one lol. oh well off to chuck water over me and get ready for work. have a good day x

ok, i am still around! just have not been ready to post anything on here. i try and read most of my friends blogs every few days. well kids are all settling into school, parents evening tomorrow :) And i have been offered a new job, its is a min 6mth contract with a possibility of it being 12mths. :) not permenant but i can still keep looking. Still working for Essex Police but based a bit closer to home. just waiting for the bosses to finish arguing about pay scales and start dates etc. but at least i will have a full time job :) Colour is still grey to black, a rainbow did shine for a bit but the clouds are gathering again. Waiting is so hard, i have never been a patient person and this is so difficult. i have no control over the outcome and i hate it. anyway thank you to loads of you that have left me so many positive comments they lift me up so much as do my daily chats with my best friend ann, love ya hun! xxx

Have you ever really thought about colours??? (please do not read this post if you want to read a happy joy post, as its not!) My fave colour has always been purple, that was until a huge event in my life where i was told that purple was bad, so now i really dont like the colour! Apparently red is good :) Well today i can only describe as Black, i am sitting under a huge blackness and i know that this blackness will not lift until oct 26th, my life at that point will head in one of two directions. White - pure clean, bright and wonderful Or black - darker than dark and very scary! I was not going to blog any of this but my best friend ann told me to blog and release what i feel. Current emotions - sadness, i am scared, tearful, so tired but i am hopeful, i am trying to be positive (not easy!). I cant seem to scrap, not good when i have a CJ to post :) maybe tomorrow! i am so sorry if i offend anyone as they are reading this and maybe i should just be keeping a private diary, so i apol...

Ok today i head off into hospital for a minor op. i have spent most of the night reading as i just could not sleep. i managed to grab a few hours on the sofa before waking again. thought i was ok about it but now i feel a combination of nerves, fright, sickness. but at least by this evening it will all be over. I wanted to wish my friend rach Good Luck with the test that she is sitting today!!! You will walk it hun xxx Also the OU photography course starts today, bad timing for me at the mo! but will have to log in later and see what i am supposed to be doing lol off to surf blogs and catch up with everyone x